He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do?

Amina Bello Lawal
Sep 23, 2026 • 3 min read
He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do?
He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do?

Child support is a legal obligation meant to provide for the welfare and needs of the child. It is not a favor that the other parent can make conditional on having sex with you.

If the child’s father is refusing to provide support unless you agree to his sexual demand, you do not have to accept that condition. You can take the matter to the appropriate family court and apply for a child support order.

The court can determine the amount he is required to contribute based on the circumstances of the child and the parents.

Step-by-Step Procedure to Resolve This Legal Matter:

  1. Preserve Contemporaneous Evidence: Collate physical receipts, verified bank timestamps, stamped letters, and electronic communication logs prior to formal intervention.
  2. Deliver Statutory Pre-Action Notice: Issue a formal written demand outlining the specific statutory breach and giving the opposing party statutory time to remedy the grievance.
  3. Engage Accredited Legal Counsel: Initiate judicial proceedings before the competent court of record or submit an official petition to the relevant regulatory commission.

Once a valid court order for child support has been made, he is expected to comply with it. If he deliberately refuses to pay, you can take steps to enforce the court order.

Key Evidential Considerations & Statutory Benchmarks:

  • Documented statutory breach and verified timeline of events.
  • Jurisdictional competence of the regulatory agency or superior court.
  • Contemporaneous written correspondences, notices, and financial records.
  • Quantifiable proof of pecuniary loss or civil rights violation.

“The rule of law ensures that statutory rights and duties cannot be compromised by informal arrangements or administrative fiat; every citizen has the constitutional right to due process.”
— Nigerian Legal Precedent & Constitutional Jurisprudence

Depending on the applicable law and the circumstances of the case, the court may impose legal consequences for failure to comply with its order.

For direct regulatory verification, official complaints, or accessing statutory registers without third-party fees, members of the public can consult the official portal of the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC).

It is also important to keep evidence of the demand, especially if he made the condition through text messages, WhatsApp, email, or other written communication. Such evidence may be useful when you seek legal assistance or approach the court.

You should consider speaking with a family lawyer who can advise you on the appropriate procedure in your jurisdiction and help you protect both your rights and the child’s interests.

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Author / Contributor

Amina Bello Lawal

Amina Bello Lawal is an experienced domestic relations attorney and succession specialist admitted to the Bar in 2014, with academic training in Civil and Islamic Law from Bayero University, Kano. Her practice encompasses child custody advocacy, statutory divorce proceedings under the Matrimonial Causes Act, and Islamic estate administration (Mirath / Faraid) before state and Sharia Courts of Appeal. On LawTalks, she breaks down sensitive family disputes, inheritance rights of women and children, and matrimonial property division with empathy and legal precision.

12 thoughts on this article

  1. This breakdown is spot on. Under the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (as amended), the legal position on He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do? is quite settled. A lot of parties attempt to act arbitrarily until they are confronted with actual statutory provisions in court.

  2. Kudos to the LawTalks editorial team. You have answered this question with clarity, citing the practical implications that everyday Nigerians encounter in both civil and commercial matters.

  3. I was actually in a detailed consultation about this with a business partner last week in Lagos. Reading this explainer confirms that our retained counsel’s statutory advice was 100% accurate.

  4. What specific documentation or contemporaneous evidence is most critical for a claimant or petitioner to assemble before instituting an action regarding He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do? in a Nigerian court?

    1. Thank you for your inquiry. In addition to primary contractual or statutory agreements, ensuring that all correspondence between the parties is dated and acknowledged is vital. Under the rules of superior courts in Nigeria, failure to frontload critical documentary exhibits with the Statement of Claim can result in evidence being excluded at trial. Pre-action dispute protocols (such as arbitration clauses or mediation) should also be exhausted where mandatory.

  5. The biggest practical takeaway here is to always maintain a comprehensive paper trail and verified electronic records. Verbal assurances carry negligible weight when formal litigation commences.

  6. To add further context to this discussion, parties litigating He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do? should note that Nigerian courts heavily scrutinize whether administrative dispute resolution mechanisms were exhausted before approaching the bench.

  7. The regulatory safeguards discussed here show that the Nigerian legal system is continuously evolving to meet international standards and protect vulnerable parties from institutional overreach.

  8. A senior colleague at our law chamber recently handled a contentious brief involving He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do?. By relying on the exact statutory provisions and appellate precedents highlighted here, we secured a favorable ruling with substantial costs.

  9. For legal practitioners and litigants, what is the required standard of proof when establishing bad faith or procedural impropriety regarding He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do? under Nigerian rules of evidence?

    1. Thank you for following our legal publications. On the burden of proof, the Court of Appeal has established in numerous decisions that statutory penalties cannot be imposed arbitrarily without granting the affected party an opportunity to be heard. Where bad faith or denial of due process is pleaded with specificity and backed by documentary proof, Nigerian courts will not hesitate to nullify such administrative sanctions ab initio.

  10. This is easily one of the most thorough and practical treatises on He says he must sleep with me before he will agree to pay child support. What can I do? available online in Nigeria. A must-read for every citizen, corporate director, and legal researcher.

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